Let's just say, I hate getting up in front of people and reading something that I have written. I just freeze, well, I don't "freeze" per say, but I shake, my hands shake, I cannot stand still, and I sound as if I'm going to faint, or cry. I don't understand why. Today I, as a senior with a Creative Writing concentration, was forced to read part of a story that I've written to a crowd filled with professors and students, most of whom I am unfamiliar with. Not that I should be the slightest bit embarrassed because what I was reading wasn't horrible, but for some reason, I didn't remember how to breathe. I always manage to choke out the last sentence which ruins the culminating scene. Just lovely. I don't understand how sometimes, I can present perfectly without thinking twice, but other times I come off looking like an inexperienced child. The other seniors, who are all amazing writers by the way, did amazingly. Their works were read with such confidence that their words came off of their tongues with ease. I don't know if I want to be a published author or even if I can make it in the writing world. These other students, though, definitely could. While they are writing sophisticated poems, short stories, and manuscripts, I'm over here writing cheesy romance stories. Would I be able to be taken seriously as a writer with stories like these? I mean, I'd like to think that it's a possibility. Why? Well, because look at the audience I'd be writing to: teenage girls who long to find the perfect man, or boy. I guess I'd be perfect for it. But I cannot help but compare myself to the other writers at my school who all write such serious stories. I guess I'm just not the serious-story type of writer. I like my sarcasm. I like my cheesy lines. I like taking on new voices and going with it. I like seeing into my character's minds. I find it so interesting. I hope maybe some day I'll get somewhere with that. But until then, here's to continuing to write. Maybe one day I'll come up with a brilliant idea for a novel. How great would that be? Alright, I'm out. Peace.
